When Billie Eilish first sat down with Vanity Fair in 2017, she was a 15-year-old with plans to make it big. Now 20, the pop star has more accolades than you can imagine, including the Oscar she netted earlier this year, but she still has enough time in her schedule to look back at her past self and answer the same questions.
In this year’s “Time Capsule” interview, she explained that she keeps coming back because watching the videos every year makes her happy. “It’s just so cool to get to do this every year,” she said. “They mean so much to me.”
It’s been a busy year for Eilish, who cited her world tour and headlining Coachella and Glastonbury as her biggest accomplishments. Eilish also mentioned that recently she’s been spending more time with her brother, Finneas O’Connell because the two are beginning to work on new music. “We just started the process of making an album, which is really exciting,” she said. “So now we have, like, specific days where we see each other, which is really nice because, you know, you get caught up in life.”
She said that she has gotten better at trusting her intuition over the last year. “The most important thing to me now is being in touch with myself and how I am actually really feeling and listening to my gut—trusting my gut,” she said. Her biggest plans for the future will require quite a bit of bravery. “For the first time ever next year, I would like to maybe skydive, maybe do, like, a big bungee jump off a cliff or something. I really enjoy fear.”
At the end of last month, Eilish and Jesse Rutherford of the Neighbourhood went public with their relationship, and in this year’s interview, she opened up about it. “I just am really inspired by this person, and, you know, he’s inspired by me,” she said. “It’s really cool, and I’m really excited, and I’m really happy about it.” She also discussed the judgment their relationship has occasionally prompted. “Say what you need to say, but, like, I am in control right now. I did this,” she said. “I managed to get my life to a point where I not only was known by a person that I thought was the hottest fucking fucker alive but pulled his a**! Are you kidding me? Can we just get a round of applause for me?”
She also reflected on previous struggles with body image. “I’ve had a very big transformation this year with my fitness lifestyle. It’s been a really insane process, and I feel better about myself than I ever have,” she added. “I just look completely different than, like, ever before, kind of, which makes me feel proud. I worked really hard on it, and I just wanna get really fucking buff.”
According to Eilish, 2020 was a tough year for her, but she has been feeling much happier recently. “That lasted for a bit,” she said, responding to a 2020 clip in which she admitted she felt like a parody of herself. “The 2020 Billie was very identity crisis.”
As in previous years, the interview ended with a cameo from Eilish’s mother, Maggie Baird. “Oh, mama,” Billie Eilish said as the pair embraced. “I love you so much.”