As you understand, male is an inconsistent creature. We favorably like reps of the opposite sex, eventually we bitterly curse them, and also in two hrs we again love.
We copy the year to the auto, then happily we lower all on holiday, existing under hand trees, and come under depression when we arrive home. There is absolutely nothing even more contradictory than an individual’s attitude towards criticism. We spread to the nines whatever that seems to us disloyal. As soon as we slam ourselves, we ask yourself exactly how you can be such a categorical as well as inaccurate individual!
«Do not educate me to live!»— said the famous heroine of the «Twelve Chairs». The woman-dream spoke incredibly little, however, even using 30 words, she opposed against objection. Knowing life has actually haunted us since childhood years. We are criticized by parents, neighbors, pals, teachers, managers, beloved or spouses, and also again by moms and dads, as well as once more by good friends …
We remain silent, attempt to warrant ourselves, brush aside or break back. Depending upon who and also in what form makes comments. Just how to respond to criticism, reasonable and also not so? Just how to take advantage of painful comments?
Family members: «I want you well!»
It is a straight duty of your grandmother to say that in such a skirt you resemble an agent of the old occupation. Mom considers it his responsibility to advise that no person will ever wed you with such an unsafe character. From such statements, you, a well balanced as well as calm person, can turn into an angered bull. Misunderstanding between agents of different generations is discussed by different worths. Do not try to encourage your family members— it’s meaningless. It is fairly nicely enough to discuss that you enjoy them very much, however in this matter let everyone remain at their viewpoint.
Buddies: «If not me, after that that?»
Who, if not your sweetheart, can inform you exactly how to act with your lover as well as what kind of hair you get to encounter. It is because of close, trusting relationships that criticism from the lips of buddies can be valuable information. If these people actually are your buddies, just. If a lonesome sweetheart about each brand-new your picked one responds badly and also proactively contacts us to get rid of it, it’s not a bad option. In situation you remain in doubt, keep in mind if the exact same thing happened in the past and if you heard it from other individuals. A pal happily relaxes you in a tough minute and is upset by your successes? Repel such a pal.
Precious: «This is simply a joke!»
He— the closest and also precious individual, the one with whom you wished to reside in sorrow, and also in delight— brought upon mortal insult. After that when you waited the least for it, he fine-tuned you by the barrel and also claimed: «Oh, have you recouped?» You do not speak for two days and 3 nights, and to his worthless efforts to discuss that it was a joke, reply to the weeping ones silence.
Provided the specifics of the relationship (they are definitely different from partnerships with other close people), any not successful joke is perceived as a personal insult, and, of course, the type of the discussion is important. Yet be forgiving to jokes. If the criticism of your partner is different— he whines for any reason, regularly is not happy with everything or perhaps insults you— it is beneficial to think of the reasons and efficiency of such connections.
Head:» You are constantly late!»In charge fulfills you at the door to the office. Hands on chest, brow frown. «Come and see me,» he breaks. In the principal’s office you are quiet, then attempt to describe that the alarm did not ring, and also the bus damaged down, and also as a whole you are late for the first time in your life. However fruitless. He is upset— normally, at you. And also dissatisfied— certainly, you. He trusted you, and also you acted so meanly. On the half-bent creep out of the workplace, rest on a chair and also believe.
Has this ever taken place to you prior to? Have you listened to such comments from others? If a quit alarm as well as a busted bus accompany you throughout your life— this is a bad sign. While it’s not too late, care for on your own as well as promptly appropriate on your own. Use the suggestion of the Spanish author Ramon Gomez de la Serna if this is actually a crash. «Criticism,» he said, «can complete us off; we can not finish off criticism; so it’s best to ignore it. »
«Even when I am paralyzed, I will certainly criticize another person’s gait,» said French author Jules Renard. We typically strive to reprise people near to us in the picture and similarity of their very own, to remove their routines and also weak points, and also in exchange to napigovat those characteristics of character that we find deeply positive. If you really feel the stamina to enlighten others, it’s finest to do it respectfully and appropriately. What to say, as well as what is not? Exactly how to criticize, so as not to annoy?
5 golden rules of the doubter
1. At night in the kitchen.You can not steadly check out your girlfriend’s brand-new wardrobe? Are you sure that all this things is not unconditionally involving her? Do not tell her concerning it with unfamiliar people, in any case, do not launch caustic jokes, so she guessed. Invite her to visit and in an unwinded loosened up ambience, talk carefully concerning this topic.
2. Never jab and do not claim»never»! «Have not you got rid of the waste again?», «You never come on time! «,»You forever overlook me!».»Touches»makes a person feel like a bad guy that is accused of something. Do not hesitate to»yakayte»:»I would like to …»,»I would certainly be very delighted …»,»I would love to ask …». Show the individual that whatever is great with him— you take complete responsibility. As well as attempt to stay clear of these awful words»never»,» constantly «and» permanently. »
3. Panikovsky’s method.Do you remember old Panikovsky from Golden Calf? He was a very tactful guy. «You understand, Shura, just how I value you, yet you are an ass,»heclaimed. Panikovsky prepares the dialogist for objection, pointing at the start of the expression for positive minutes. This method facilitates the assumption of objection. Start with a favorable, then most likely to the adverse as well as end up with something enjoyable. The Panikovsky technique is suitable for especially susceptible as well as sensitive individuals.
4. And also maybe far better to my mother? When talking about prepare for the weekend, your precious with a glowing look uses a improper and also absolutely outrageous for you choice. Your unrestrained giggling or crucial comments will clearly anger him. If you in a soft type deal an additional ready-made remedy, you will talk with your mom, not with football fans.
5. The Black Square. Do you assume that the pictures of your big-age sibling are just a kid’s daub? Saying this to her, you will come to be the worst enemy of innovative nature. If you are rupturing, you can start by saying that you possibly do not understand anything in art. You, obviously, have a remarkable preference, however various other views have a right to exist. Incidentally, have you seen Malevich’s Black Square for a long time?