Bad information for traditionalists: regardless of just how much you compose upset letters to the administration of television networks as well as other «corrupt people»— your kid is most likely to learn about sex earlier than you prepared it.
Did you spank the kid, capturing him behind the mantle? In feedback to a concern— where does the baby originated from in my mommy’s belly— did the discussion cause the overpriced ranges? Fruitless, due to the fact that the major rules of the topic «regarding this«— do not be shamed, not mad, do not obtain frightened and also do not lie when you hear a ticklish concern.
The initial inquiry that the kid asks: «Where did I come from?». «It is required to instantly leave out tales concerning the stork and cabbage— since it will weaken the confidence in parents in the future,» advises sexologist and also specialist Igor Poperechny.— The most crucial policy is always to address all the questions that occur without breaking off with the expression «It’s too early for you to recognize» as well as address as honestly as possible.» As Mr. Perepachny describes, at the preschool age the kid has enough general information that he looked like an outcome of the love of his daddy and mother, he does not yet require technological information.
Extra exact info must be offered as early as 7 years, and by the age of 12-13 the child must have complete knowledge— first of all regarding contraception.
«The trouble is that in our colleges, the info that you need to have in the sixth grade is given only in senior high school,» claims Igor Poperechny.
On the inquiry of what to prefer— a personal discussion or in time podsunutyu book— specialists have no unquestionable response. The discussion all at once is preferable, however, inevitably, this issue is specific. The book is excellent due to the fact that it enables you to maintain some range between parents as well as the child, shields his own intimate room.
Even greater distance, certainly, permits you to protect the ancient method of sex-related education and learning «Street tell!», But on this his dignity finishes. Do you keep in mind just how Katka herself discussed the significance of love as well as sex on the instance of illustrations undecided? Agree, both in material and also in psychological evaluation, this was not the most reliable information.
In some cases— given the design and tightness of our apartments,— the photo mistakenly comes before academic prep work. The circumstance in which the kid did not search in time at the parent’s bed room is, certainly, much better to advise beforehand— first, the doors should be closed, and secondly, it would be good for all member of the family to learn to knock on the door prior to entering (this, incidentally, to moms and dads, especially the moms and dads of a teenager).
But if the youngster still saw an intimate scene in between the moms and dads, the major recommendations— without panic! It is important that the situation is not inscribed in the youngster’s memory as something adverse as well as dreadful.
«A small child is most likely to see a fight in this scene, a fight,» Igor Pereperchny clarifies. — And the scared faces of the parents are just stressed. The kid at the age of 4 currently has an intuitive understanding of the process— he simply can not formulate it— as well as some sense of tact. Therefore, he will most likely leave the room. As well as the moms and dads themselves should go out to him with a smile, calmness, not ingratiating and not validating themselves. If the youngster does not ask concerns, do not require to clarify anything. A similar silent response should be, as well as for instance, when watching films with erotic scenes— without screams «Get out of the room» and also rash channel switching. »
Parents elevated in Soviet preschools, can bear in mind the embarrassing actions of teachers to deal with «self pleasure.» Below it is needed to find out that modern-day experts do not see anything awful or unusual in youngster masturbation. Penalizing, daunting a kid and also shaming is the worst point to do.
«Childhood masturbation is an indispensable part of the advancement of sexuality,» commented Manana Koridze-Datunishvili, a therapist and candidate of medical scientific researches. — This is a psycho-hormonal act. And in this case, the parent should be exceptionally proper, do not go across the intimate boundary of the youngster. «
However, permanent self pleasure can have unstable factors. «To worry as well as assume regarding examination with an expert is required only if the kid masturbates really typically— 20 times a day or his rate of interest in sex is obsessive psychopathic. If the moms and dads respond smoothly, without agiotage, the focus will progressively change to something else, «discusses Igor Poperechny.
In this topic there is only one actually awful word— pedophiles. What descriptions enhance the unsinkable policy: not to talk with strangers as well as not respond to their invitations? Igor Transverse suggests: not allowing the fog out, yet without going into excessive information, allowing the youngster understand that there are people who intimidate his life as well as health and wellness. «In the nuances of pedophilia, kids under the age of seven do not need to commit— they do not have a mental organization for this,» claims Mrs. Koridze-Datunishvili. At the very same time, the ban on hazardous associates with outsiders ought to be stronger than one more guideline— «comply with grownups».
«On the one hand, grownups need to not be disrespectful, grownups ought to be listened to, one can not shout loudly in the street,» explains the psycho therapist at the Meridian A facility Elena Tokareva. «On the other hand, due to this restriction, a youngster may not have the ability to secure himself from dangerous adults-when it is essential, as a matter of fact, to scream, call for help.» To make sure that obedience does not become unsafe, Elena Tokareva recommends to release the youngster, to eliminate extreme shyness, to let him shout and make sound in places where it does not harm anybody.